A Sermon in Satire.
Der Pontifuherer ist hafink a bad day!
He just found out all the new Cardinals want PINK hats!

There has been some conversation about our Seattle friends of the Roman persuasion who seem to be rather ticked about Her latest stances about women, gay marriage, birth control and the like.  http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/mass-uprising/Content?oid=12587024  

So, the conversation has continued about the possibility of Episcopal priests celebrating the Roman Mass used before Advent 2011 for Roman Catholics no longer feeling welcome or comfortable in their own Church. This is not an attempt to steel sheep.  We're not trying to make converts nor are we trying to raise money. It's simply an attempt to provide the valid Eucharist to Roman Catholics by Episcopal Catholics without the homophobia, the misogyny, or the guilt.  

Your thoughs are welcome to phathyr@yahoo.com 

The Feast of the Epiphany

Well, I suspect that by now, you’ve taken down the tree

and the string with the Christmas Cards draped over it. 

The gifts have either been put in places of honor around the house

or been put in the “regift” box. 

Just remember who gave you what

so you don’t give the same gift back to the same person next year. 

It can be a bit embarrassing. 

But you might still have the Crèche up

with the wise men off in the distance

making their way to the holy site. 

And my suspicion is that the Turkey is on its last legs

      if even still around

and you won’t want another turkey sandwich until March. 

And I can’t blame ya. 

Turkey’s never been one of my favorites. 

Give me that old Prime Rib with the Yorkshire Pudding!  Mmmmm.

It seems hard to believe that just twelve short days ago

we filled this very Church to sing God’s praises

for the coming of the Word made Flesh

in the little Child of Bethlehem. 

But here we are – Wise Men and all –

celebrating the Epiphany of Our Lord. 

The story of the Wise Men, the Magi, as they were called,

      is endearing to us all. 

And how many different interpretations have we seen? 

Remember Amal and the Night Visitors by Gian Carlo Menotti?

Boy, was that a hit on NBC when I was a little kid. 

I remember years later seeing a Christmas Card

      on the front of which was the Three Wise Men at night

      with the stars shining in the sky

      and a dark silhouette of a long building off in the distance. 

On one end there was a dim, red light which said,

“Montgomery Ward” and on the other end, “Sears.” 

Inside, the card read, “A Mall and the Night Visitors.” 

Get it?! Guess you had to be three. 

There’s not a lot to know about the Three Wise Men, or the Magi,

except for the fact that the name Magi

is where we get the words “magic” and “magician.” 

These three fellahs were essentially priests of Zoroastrianism,

a religion founded by a guy named Zoroaster, believe it or not. 

The basic symbols of Zoroastrianism were similar to Christianity

especially when dealing with the concepts of darkness and light. 

About a million Zoroastrians still exist in Iran and Iraq

who worship just one God to this very day. 

The Magi were essentially astrologers. 

They watched the stars for the answers to all sorts of questions. 

But in the eyes of their far away Jewish neighbors,

      they were nothing more than quacks,

      seers of crystal balls, Tarot card readers. 

Remember Miss Cleo on the TV about ten years ago?

      “Caaall me now fer yer free readin’!” 

      Miss Cleo is still in jail for fraud, by the way. 

To the Jews, the Magi were an abomination unto the Lord.  Deuteronomy says,

When you come into the land that the Lord your God is giving you, you must not learn to imitate the abhorrent practices of those nations. No one shall be found among you who makes a son or daughter pass through fire, or who practices divination, or is a soothsayer, or an augur, or a sorcerer, or one who casts spells, or who consults ghosts or spirits, or who seeks oracles from the dead. For whoever does these things is abhorrent to the Lord; it is because of such abhorrent practices that the Lord your God is driving them out before you.

Apparently, Moses wasn’t too keen on the idea

and it got written in to the books. 

The other thing about the Magi is

      that they had some sort of official function during the sacrifices

      of Zoroastrian worship. 

It seems that they were the ones who recited the incantations

      while the poor animal was meeting its end. 

And they were paid – Gold. 

They also offered incense during the rite. 

And it also seems that they were in charge of seeing to the dead

and trying to contact them after their departure. 

And, as we all know,

      myrrh was the ancient version of embalming fluid. 

Let’s face it;

      among the Chosen People into whom Jesus was born,

      Magi were a total abomination. 

They were anathema to the religious authorities

      of the Jewish Nation and Faith –

      the ultimate heretics,

            and, as we all know, abominations unto the Lord. 

And such abominations always deserve death!

And yet, who is it that sees the star in the east? 

Naturally, astrologers! 

And they know it’s an important star they’ve seen. 

Historically, it may have been an alignment

      of the Earth, Jupiter and Saturn that occurred

      around that time in history. 

It may have been a super-nova or some other astronomical event. 

But the Magi saw it and it caught them by surprise

      because before they knew it,

      they had their camels and their caravan ready

      and were heading west. 

And what to their wondering eyes should appear,

      but a thirteen year old mother and her husband,

            older by ten years or so. 

And the child, now twelve days old,

      circumcised and a full-fledged Son of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. 

Now, as most of you know,

      I’m no expert in children or child rearing,

            but I can think of more appropriate gifts for a new born. 

Well, maybe the gold is OK. 

      Seed money for a college fund or something like that. 

But Mary and Joseph don’t seem to be as picky. 

They welcome these three visitors from the far away East

      into the cave at Bethlehem and graciously accept their gifts. 

Mary lets them hold the baby and they pass him around. 

And Joseph, the proud father, just beams with delight. 

Had they existed back then,

      I suspect the Magi would’ve left with cigars!

And after a good visit, the Magi get back on their camels

      and call to their caravan and off they go into the night,

      back to the East from whence they’d come. 

Now, notice what doesn’t happen. 

While one can certainly imagine

      that such a visit to the Word made Flesh

      made an impression on the Magi,

            and it may have even transformed their lives for ever,

they return to the East still Zoroastrians! 

And they’re still the heretic Magi! 

The Blessed Mother didn’t ask for their conversion.

They are not Jews. 

They are not Christians, certainly. 

But they are God’s beloved,

just as they have always been. 

The mystery and miracle of the Epiphany

      is the manifestation of Christ to the world. 

The whole point of the Epiphany story,

      whether it’s based in history, legend or myth

is that within the economy of God’s Kingdom

      the list of who and what is an abomination

      is turned upside down. 

The point of the Epiphany is

      that the entire human race throughout history is a race of seekers

      seeking the Divine One

            who when they find this Divine One,

            embraces them with open arms. 

The great mystery of the Epiphany is

      that there are no abominations in God’s sight,

            at least not how we define them.

The true abominations are behaviors and actions of Herod,

      but he’s an entirely different sermon.

I have no doubt that the Magi on this very Epiphany night

in the year of our Lord 2012

are gazing into the mystery of the Christ Child

and have been for the last two thousand years. 

And I suspect that they’re still Zoroastrians

and that the Christ Child is just fine with that. 

Amen.