By this time in the lives of those of us who are “mature,” we’ve all lost someone dear to us. I lost a spouse almost twenty-five years ago – it’s ancient history so don’t go getting all condolency on me. We’ve all had equally significant tragedies. But, if a week after Jeffrey had died, someone came up to me and said, “Hey! We saw him walking around and talking to people,” I’d’ve replied, “That’s not funny! It’s CRUEL! AND we’re no longer friends! Have a nice life!!” It’s a cruel prank and not one that a “friend” perpetrates. And it was the take that Thomas put on the Apostles telling him that they’d seen Jesus. He wasn’t amused. He was broken hearted and these “friends” of his were pulling a cruel joke. And it wasn’t funny.
Of course, this all took place in the Upper Room where the Last Supper had been held. The week before, the guys had been all holed up there in fear of the Jews… not ALL of the Jewish nation, but the Temple Authorities and the priests, as well as the Romans. They were scared out of their minds that they’d suffer the same fate as their Rabbi. Add to that, Jesus kept appearing to them which didn’t help any. These are the guys who’d scattered in his hour of need and even denied him. The women hadn’t. They seem to have understood the Resurrection. But these guys were so terrified and guilt-ridden that they couldn’t comprehend what was going on.
In the midst of all this fear and angst, appears the Risen One. And it’s a tender but tense moment. Into the midst of their multi-emotional mess, the Risen One comes and says to them, “Peace be with you.” Not, “Where the $$$$ were YOU!?” He greets them with tender love and bids them peace. And at that moment, they get it. They understand what’s going on. Here, in the middle of their fear and guilt, there is no condemnation, no judgment, no bitterness, just love. They now begin to comprehend what the past three years had all been about, what the crucifixion had all been about, what the Resurrection was all about. They know that they are not condemned but loved, unconditionally, and that the source of that love is the Source of All Things standing in front of them as the Risen One.
But Thomas wasn’t there and he couldn’t buy it because he hadn’t yet experienced it. So, the Risen One comes again the following week and bids them all, including Thomas, peace. And Thomas is blown away. And it’s these guys and the women who find their lives totally transformed, so much so that they and their descendants go on to change the course of human history.
But back to doubt. I don’t blame Thomas. He had a right to doubt. And, ultimately, doubt is a good thing, maybe even a grace. Each time we doubt, we go on an adventure, a scavenger hunt for the truth, for certainty to answer our doubt. And when we find it, we rejoice and it feels great. Then, in time, we begin to doubt the new truth, so we go searching again, but this time we find even deeper truth. And in time, we doubt that deeper truth and we go searching again and the cycle goes on and even deeper. And in the process, we find even more refined and clearer truth and that truth brings us deeper into the mystery of God, of the Risen One, of the truth of the fact that we’ve never been condemned, only loved with a tender love which one has for the beloved, the love we continue to have for those we’ve lost and for those who are still with us.
So, go ahead and doubt. And, doubt boldly that grace may abound! (Forgive me, St. Paul!) Doubt with clarity and fortitude and go on the search. And you will find the truth: the truth made known to us in Jesus Christ, our Risen Lord.
Amen.
ALLELUIA! CHRIST IS RISEN!!!
CHRIST IS RISEN INDEED!! ALLELUIA!!!!
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